Tuesday, January 08, 2008

reminder: carry on with grace, kindness, wisdom. hold no grudge. forgive. smile. wish well.
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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love you with so much admiration and appreciation for the reminder. It serves to remind all of us.

When T and I met tonight, I casually asked him if he had bought the book that I wanted from home, the book that we had spoken so much about, the book that would bring a moment of peace to my lonely heart in a city with strangers, the book that I had hoped to
somehow bring me closer to you.

The second the he said he had forgotten to, I paused, put away the slice of cold pizza in my hand, turned my head away from his apologetic gaze, swallowed the tears. Strangely, among all the expectations that I had for him, he didn't let me down on this one. I had feared to ask him about the book, I didn't want to know just yet.

I didn't want to be told right away that we had come to the end of whatever that we had for the last few weeks. I didn't want to be reminded that indeed, I had not been in his heart. Or in his thoughts.

I was silent for minutes, trying to come up with excuses for him, perhaps he lived too far from the city, perhaps work had been too hectic, perhaps and perhaps.

But no, he lives in zhongxiao fuxing. He partied and hung out with friends every night. Last time I was in town, zhongxiao east road was still the street lined up with Eslite and Kingstone bookstores...

I walked him out of the door, unable to give him a hug. Instead, I told him nicely- please do not call. Not for the time being. I closed and locked the door behind him, turned on the computer, listened to Olivia, whispered the (your) reminder under my breath a few times, and did remind myself again that- I still got to get up, keep walking, carry on with the grace, kindness, and wisdom that Momo believed in me.

4:16 AM
Moogi said...

under the strong, happy exterior there have been times when insides were crushed into sad broken pieces. but i put them back together somehow. i often wonder if that makes it easier for me the next time--to let go, to close, heal faster. apparently not. but i like what that says about us.

stay true in spirit, you. i liked this from the book; it is all about perspective, i've learned:

我的心情翻攪如風洶湧如雲層波動如海的泡沫，如露亦如電，不然如何呢?

其實不然，你說，我們還有未來如畫承諾如詩。

不然我們如何寂寞呢?

4:38 AM

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