I'm so fed up. Everything keeps breaking down. Nothing seems to be working. It's like, my electronic person goes missing, and everything stops to function. First my computer went insane, the harddisk got fried and I nearly lost everything. Now that I've got it fixed, it works like a total foreign machine. I don't understand why they couldn't simply install the newest version of iTune for me, and now none of my music plays. I can't even charge my iPod. Now I'm worried the iPod is fried too. My cell phone had to add some icing on the cake--the memory card erased itself.

Seriously, is this a sign to be out with the old, and in with the new? Yes they came out with new Macbooks, impossibly slimmer iPods, and more new Nokias than I care to keep track. But am I ready?

The series of mysterious events--starting from losing my HheartM keychain accessory (which in a witch's retrospect was such a warning) to the harddisk going berserk, to iPod not charging, to phone memory gone forever--seems to be huge signs that changes are taking place. Yet they also seem to be little hiccups, bumps in the road that require some patience and endurance to get over. It's just frustrating that there's so little I know what to do with. Is it time for new everythings?

Ok. Electronic products as metaphors for my undefined relationship status are kind of silly. But I can't help but draw similarities between what's happened in the last little strange while. I'm NOT ready. I don't even know if the last relationship is really a "last," just as I am not sure if my electronics are really so irrevocably broken. And as much as I can afford to not think about it, gradually for longer periods of time, I do want to know where I stand. Is that so much to ask for? Am I really that undeserving of an answer?

Exactly a minute ago I went to check on my candle and broke my new candleholder which S gave me for Christmas. I can't even take care of new things. I feel like such a klutz. And a failure.

Better stay where I am for a little longer, with my seemingly fixed powerbook, non-functioning iPod and a phone whose number someone might never call.