destiny of her own

after a grueling and all-in-all successful day of consciously trying to figure out my life--including dealing with a long-term psychological parental complex, deciding whether to embark on a new career path, and following the voice in my heart--i decided to spend this sunny new day doing things that make me happy and not worry nor over-analyze. so i slept until almost one, had a coffee and a poached egg, and set out to do my one-hour ashtanga yoga routine.

except, of course, i get distracted. as i finish a downward dog in sun salutation B, i get up and glanced at my cousin's bookshelf to my right. to my eye-level with a bright orange spine cover is a book titled "become who you were born to be." now my friends, i know by now you're rolling your eyes and thinking, "oh, great." yes, in the years following my university graduation amidst confusion and uncertainty, i've resorted to a myriad of self-help books, and i am not ashamed to list a few:

--The Go-Girl Guide: Surviving Your 20s with Savvy, Soul, and Style
--Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in Your Twenties
--Do What You Are : Discover the Perfect Career for You Through the Secrets of Personality Type (now available in updated edition featuring e-careers)
--What Should I Do with My Life
--The Renaissance Soul: Life Design for People with Too Many Passions to Pick Just One

i'm quite honest about being lost sometimes, as you see from this blog. but lately with assurance from loving friends i've set foot on this journey to find myself, listen to my heart, search within my soul, etc etc. i'll say for the record now that IT SUCKS. people, it's NOT easy. there is so much psychological and emotional stress involved in this venture that requires constant reminders and patience, and this internal search in fact takes a toll on the external physical health of the life-purpose seeker. in a nutshell, i repeat, IT SUCKS.

anyway, so this new book. i flip through the first 4 chapters and it sounds plenty like the ones i've read before. honestly, it reads like another money-making scheme of some guy who's already made big bucks in corporate america and decides to tell the rest of the country stories of how other millionaires have made it. sure, very practical, because we all want to be shamelessly rich. however, chapter 4 does discuss whether it's "normal" for one to ponder one's life purpose. the author categorizes people into 3 groups:

the lucky few: the tiny fraction of population who did not need to spend too much time before stumbling onto their intended path. they discover their gift at an early age and can set out to achieve their purpose. (my friend bb in medicine is one such example. or jxd who was born musically talented and is on a tv talent show at the moment).

the hopeless stragglers: he defines these people as those who have given up on search of meaning and passion and choose to take the "easy way out." i do not necessarily agree with this. there is nothing wrong with taking the easy way out and following a conventional path. people come from different backgrounds and have different needs to fulfill and obstacles to overcome. not everyone is blessed and free to pursue this so-called life purpose. this is where i find the guy to be snobby.

the hopeful explorers: that would be this guy and whoever that's reading the book, because "we" recognize that our lives are off course and believe that there is a destiny. "we" just don't know what it is yet.

i suppose it's a generalization that can be used somewhat. i'd like to believe that most people will fall into the third category at one point in their lives, and get to thinking (not as much as me hopefully) about what their true callings are, and have a great passion for them. this reminds me of a great little story:

about a month ago i visited the city's best strip club, newly renovated and very posh, nothing dingy or trashy. since my little cousin is very well-connected in the pole-dancing industry, we were greeted with warm welcomes by the performing dancer as soon as we sat down at the round table surrounding the stage, attracting curious and jealous looks by our uniformly male co-audience (lesbians showed up after 11). so my cousin's friend sidney*, beautifully round-figured with long luscious curly brown hair, got off stage in a robe with a trail of her stripped four-layer costume, changed into a long shiny green sequined gown and came over to say hi (more death looks from the guys). we chatted about her costume and her gown, which she designed, and launched into a technical discussion about the other girls in the line-up and each of their expertise. my cousin asked sidney if everyone had to take their panties off during the pole dancing show. a big smile flashed across sidney's face, enthusiasm sparkled in her eyes. she said, "no, they don't make everyone take panties off. but i do it, 'cuz i like to!"

this is what i was talking about. when you find your true calling and have that undying passion, you go that extra mile to make your job worthwhile, to excel, and to deliver.



*stripper name.