S asked me to pick a number from 0-22 today, and I picked 17, the star. Lately I've been thinking about what I want in life, the kind of life I want to live, comparing my current self to my old self and trying to find a balance point. It's another stage of self-discovery that is more in-depth and mature. I feel like I am going way way back into the part of my past when I was alone, trying to recollect that true essence and see how I have evolved, and then arrive at a point of calmness and harmony that I feel truly happy at. Not forced to drive myself to absolute material success because I was never that person, nor completely clueless and laid-back with no awareness of what's waiting for me out there. More importantly, I'm learning to trust again. Very cool, really.

Recording STAR here so I remember how I feel at this moment.


regaining hope
having faith in the future
thinking positively
believing
counting your blessings
seeing the light at the end of the tunnel
feeling great expectation
looking forward to success

being inspired
regaining motivation
realizing an inner strength
seeing the way clear
being stimulated to a higher level
creating
receiving the answer

being generous
wanting to give or share
spreading the wealth
opening your heart
giving back what you have received
letting love flow freely
offering with no reservations
holding nothing back

feeling serene
experiencing peace of mind
relaxing
finding your still center
remaining untroubled
savoring perfect calm
being tranquil amid trouble
enjoying harmony