a friend's dad just passed away .

i'm not very close to this friend, nor did i know his father. the closet i got was a visit to their office and seeing his dad's name on almost every single piece of document lying around, coming out of the fax machine, in the message box. the news of his deterioration came two weeks ago. i felt sympathy for my friend, thinking of his situation and half remembering how things were when grandpa was sick in the hospital. then two days ago his father passed away in peace, the end of a long battle and suffering. i was more deeply saddened than i expected to be; such attachment to someone i'd never met was surely odd. then today bb told me that nearly all in our circle of friends have expressed similar sentiments. then i realize that as we grow up and become adults, we also begin to deal with the only certain thing in life, and that is death.

this is, of course, the course of nature. it's nothing new. a few friends have lost parents before they hit teen years, others have seen their parents through long illnesses. but for us, or at least for me, this came as a reality check, that we're no longer carefree and sheltered. we are the ones that should take care of them now. my friend was the first one to go through it, unfortunately way too early. but a heaviness has set in, one that i'm not able to read into yet.

for some reason i miss those friends dearly at this hour. i know we're here to see each other through happiness and sadness in life. i plan to be there for as much of it as i can.