it's been 2 full days since i've been back in taipei. it been quite an interesting experience trying to get used to the city again, its fast pace and crowdedness, the traffic, the heat. as soon as my taxi sped away from the airport in the morning fog, and the city scenes slowly came into view, this familiar urban loneliness set in again, and the sensitivity towards the self, which i'd been cultivating these past few months in vancouver, quietly yet so detectably tiptoed away. i tried to hang onto it a bit longer, but the speed at which this city moves forward does not allow it. i feel something being physically vacuumed out of me.

and yet that's ok for the moment. i remain optimistic about the future, and believe i'm treading towards something obscure but it surely exists. sometimes it's two steps forward one step back on this lonely path, but my rest has prepared me well for this. vancouver has shown up in my dreams for the past 2 days, i feel more connected to it now than when i left 7 years ago. but for now i'm happy to set it aside to find what it is i need to find. it'll always be my sanctuary, it'll always be home.