i went to a job interview today at a PR agency for luxury brands. it was almost perfect and tailor-made for me. i probably would have taken the job 5 years ago, impressionable young girl that i was, fresh out of fashion school with aspirations to appear in the society pages of international editions. but this was me today, 5 years later, telling my interviewer straight in the face that i'm not that person anymore.

it felt like a most glorious moment. i walked out of the building towards belle fusion, the pretty model-owned outdoor patio where my ex-boss and i talked over white wine almost a year ago. i'd been new at ted and enjoying my new job, and she told me to stick with this for a year and a half, then i can get any job i want in this industry, anywhere. little did she know then that she would leave a month later, then troubles would follow, and then i would leave, and return to vancouver to find my core. now i have returned to this city with more understanding of myself than ever, and as i sat at the exact same table, with a strawberry grapefruit shake in the breeze, i'm grateful for everything that has happened.

k remarked later on the phone that i'd always been easily swayed into a job (ie LED), thinking that it would be interesting, or i would be up to it. but i know what i don't want anymore, with what i do want taking shape each day. i think back on my four months in vancouver, how real, grounded and belonged i felt. i carry that with me everyday as i walk forward.