i'm forcing myself to write a little bit everyday as that's what writers do, even if it's about nothing.

finally had some time today to sort out my finances. sent out invoices, received bills, and made payments. feel very very productive though broke. but the fact i'm listening to jazz now makes me happy. jazz reminds me of new york city where rich people live, and that relieves me of my money worries on some surreal level.

woke up early today to find bizarre correspondences between other people. it's scary sometimes how meanings get lost in translation, or in silence, even in the exact words that one intends to say. it reminds me that words are powerful tools that can be used to hurt others, although this concept has been very foreign to me for some time now. today was a perfect example of words backlashing and, as unfortunate as it was, it served as a reminder for me to stay warm and funny and encouraging with my own.

i keep missing vancouver and friends. mom says it's going to take 2 years for me to get over it. except that's odd because it's not like i'm breaking up with vancouver. absolutely baseless reasoning. i'm going back in 3 months. huh.

incoherent now. writing efforts have turned futile.