post-grey's anatomy dvdthon

a poignant question: why do i keep wanting to leave?

what is wrong with staying in one place, building a foundation, having roots? why do i always feel like i can't be still? what is it that drives me to and out of a place? what am i looking for?

tonight i attribute this to a fear of commitment. i really am, quite frankly, afraid of the word "forever." i am afraid of things that i cannot see an end to, or things i cannot change. i also attribute it to the lack of a thing and/or person that i am passionate enough about to make me stay. i highly suspect that once this thing and/or person is found, my fear of commitment will cease to exist. at least i highly hope so.

we may have moved on, we may have forgotten. but it doesn't change the fact that we are still kind of screwed up. it is fun dealing with the aftermath, picking up the pieces and putting them back together. it's up to ourselves how the new thing is going to look. i really want it to be pretty.