life, of course, is also a compromise. i've been thinking a lot lately about where i belong, exactly. this is not a foreign subject; it's something i've been dealing with for years, the so-called identity crisis. the fact that very few people around me find it a valid concern is somewhat discomforting--am i over-exploring the issue? is it just some prettied-up excuse for me to hide behind?

today C says i need to see the difference between reality and aspiration, as they hardly go hand-in-hand for most people, and that it's probably time that i grasp reality for what it is and just suck it up and live with it. very good point, i concur. but i've also realized that life is made up of choices, and we've been blessed with the right, freedom and opportunity to choose. when you've been given these privileges, you owe it to yourself to find the path that works for you, one that you feel solid walking on, however dull or exciting the view.

so what i'm learning to really grasp is that we should all be honest with ourselves, and do what feels right at the moment. what defines reality is different for everyone, and i shouldn't feel bad about my own definition. it's only when i know the true purpose of something can i devote myself to it, and i'm afraid i can't compromise that about myself.

and of course, this is all being written so i can be convinced, as well =)