just finished watching the last kiss. i put it off for so long because i was so afraid to watch it alone. but then i had no choice so i did tonight. i thought i was going to be fine, because hen8 said it's completely unrelated to me, unlike the other one i saw. but he was so wrong.

i still cried. not big unstoppable tears like the last time. but smaller, more heartfelt ones. she said, "i feel like i'm mourning the death of the single most important thing in my life. us." and he said, "we're not dead yet, we're still here."

when something goes wrong with love, there seems to be so much you can do to save it, or nothing. i don't know which it is. i can't figure out the answer alone. so i won't.

i'm sorry i cried. i'm sorry i still feel sad. i'm sorry to take a few steps backwards from time to time. it's still hard, but getting easier. all i need to do is stop watching movies that are so realistic. i will try harder tomorrow. baby steps, mimi, baby steps.