Almost 10 years ago, October 1997, I sat in Trekkers' at UBC across from Matt (blonde blue-eyed really cute in a nerdy kind of way), telling him that since he'd chosen his long-time-crush-ballroom-dancing-partner over me, just a day before our first date, that when your life has hit rock bottom, there's no way to go but up. That made him a tearful boy, the guiltiest person on campus, and the target of my friend Eunice's "turdface" remark in ASIA 100 the next morning.

Almost 10 years later, since I'm just now someone's "friend" until someone figures out if there is an ideal person for him out there, because apparently I'm not anymore, I again think there's no way to go but up. Except this time I have no intention to make anyone cry, or guilty, or target of blasphemy. Nor do I feel my life is really at the bottom. And going down is not an option.

Yesterday I felt spiritually lifted off the ground. First I went to the temple with mom to pray for political stability and that justice be served, and also for wisdom and clarity with which H can find his answers. Then I went to the driving school and signed up for 200 min of lessons (note: can upgrade to 500 min if do not pass exam; then upgrade again to unlimited practice hours with a feeble sum if all fails). After that I bought a sushi bento box, watched it while eating an Antonio Banderas movie about ballroom dancing black kids. Then I napped heartily before going to Yin yoga class with very flexible parents. Then I fed a stray dog.

And today I laid out initial career plans plus meaningful free time activities such as volunteering. Ivy from my class said I could go work with street kids in Mongolia! Ulan Bataar!! That's where my sponsor child is, and I'd get to work with children, and learn to ride horses in the wild. Hehe. I guess not....But working with under-priviledged children is definitely in the works. I will not waste any more time doing things that have no meaning (TV has meaning). It's time to be true to who I am, make myself feel good, and make others feel even better.

I'd say things are definitely looking up.