i killed two cockroaches in the kitchen the other night while they were mating. at least i think they were mating (need to look up pictures of mating cockroaches). i felt the urgent need to terminate their sad, dirty lives because once i was nice and let one go, only to have it crawl into my room and onto my arm while i was half asleep. as mercy for the guilty is cruelty to the innocent, i grabbed my slipper and slapped it hard onto the copulating insects, who then dropped to the floor and were subsequently flushed down the toilet.
inevitable guilt washed over me afterwards, thinking of the extra lives that never got a chance. mom tried to comfort me and said that at least their lives ended at the height of their lives, in a state of physical bliss. it's kind of like watanabe's "a lost paradise," in which death concludes a torrid love affair at the height of passion. tragically beautiful, says my mother.
so i suppose it's all about perspective, after all, this thing with killing...
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Their death is better for the world. Job well done!
BTW, I have a few artist friends who suggested some art galleries for you to see. We can talk more when you get here! :-D
take lin ma ma's sincere and serious advice: tell the roaches that its not an easy life to be roaches and wish you reborn into human beings soon...thats what my mom toold me when i felt bad about mice termination back in the ny apartment...lin ma ma is really hilarious....
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